


Getting Off on a Technicality

by Nestra



Category: Sports Night
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-08-01
Updated: 2004-08-01
Packaged: 2017-10-04 03:39:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nestra/pseuds/Nestra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Casey makes one of the classic blunders. (No, he does not get involved in a land war in Asia.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Getting Off on a Technicality

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to shrift for the looksee and letting me borrow her request, and to DX Machina for sports info. He probably had no idea what my nefarious purposes were. Or maybe he did, because he knows me pretty well.

If Casey had learned one thing in the years he'd spent at Sports Night, it was not to go up against Kim. Especially not when money was on the line. But he had a few beers in him -- okay, maybe a few more than a few -- and besides, this was a question of honor.

"How exactly did this become a question of honor?" he asked.

"Because I called you a sissy girl," Kim said. Sitting next to her, Dana hooted derisively, and Jeremy patted him on the back in a show of manly solidarity.

"And you called me a sissy girl because..."

"Because you're a sissy girl, Casey. Unless you've got the balls to prove me wrong." Kim knocked back another shot of Jack Daniels without blinking an eye, and Casey had to consider the possibility that she was right. Compared to Kim, he was a sissy girl. But he couldn't let her force him to admit that in public. It was clearly a question of honor.

Jeremy nudged his arm. "There's no shame in conceding to Kim. We've all done it."

"Yes, but did she call you a sissy girl?"

"Are you kidding? She calls me a sissy girl on a daily basis. And then Natalie tries to defend me, and Kim rolls her eyes and steals my lunch money."

Casey gave up on Jeremy and looked around for Dan. He finally spotted him perched on a barstool, talking to Jack. What Dan was not doing was returning to the table in the corner to provide Casey with backup.

"Fifty bucks," Casey said, "and I'll take whatever dare your twisted little mind can come up with. But there are conditions."

Kim shook her head. "You want conditions, it goes up to a hundred."

"Fine. My conditions are these: nothing that will cause physical harm. Nothing that will get me arrested. Nothing that will leave me unable to perform my duties as co-host of Sports Night."

"It's okay," Dana said. "We have the first runner-up standing by in case you're 'unable to perform your duties,' Miss America. Or should I say, Miss Sissy Girl."

"You're just a little too enthusiastic about this."

"I'll get you a nice sash made. Miss Sissy Girl 2000."

Casey thumped his hand on the table, and everyone jumped as the glasses rattled. "Enough trash-talking. Let's do this. And I promise you, there is nothing within my conditions that I won't do to win this bet. I'll sing five verses of 'Puff the Magic Dragon' in Esperanto. I'll go out in the street and do a backflip. I'll dance on the table. I'll -- "

Kim looked over his shoulder, and as her eyes narrowed, he knew he was in serious trouble. "You'll kiss Dan."

Beer slopped onto his shoulder; he turned and saw Dan standing behind him, with two once-full glasses in his hands. "Excuse me?" Dan said.

"Nothing that would leave me unable to host the show, remember? I'm pretty sure that if the Post ran a color picture of us making out under the headline CSC ANCHORS IN SECRET GAY LOVE AFFAIR, we'd get fired pretty quickly and would thereby be unable to host the show."

"You can't get out of this on a technicality."

"It's not a technicality!"

"It is!" Kim insisted. "You're Roger Maris. They'll put a star next to your name in the record books, showing that you got out of this on a technicality."

Jeremy cleared his throat. "I don't think they have record books for drunken bar bets. And they removed the star from Roger Maris' name in 1991."

"Is somebody planning to ask me what I think about this?" Dan said, setting the beers down on the table.

"No," Dana said. "Now shut up and kiss him." She was a lot drunker than Casey had realized, and the glint in her eye had passed from affectionate to malicious.

"When did this stop being a friendly bet?" Casey asked.

"I don't know, Casey. Let me think back. Maybe it was when both of you turned into giant pussies?"

Dan tossed his wallet on the table. "Here. I have no idea what's going on, but someone take the fucking money and leave me out of it." He turned around and pushed his way through the crowd near the bar, apparently heading for the bathroom.

"Damnit." Casey couldn't decide whether to yell at Dana or try and sober her the hell up. Therapy had done a lot for Dan, but it hadn't made him any less moody, and Dana had definitely pushed a button. Jeremy patted him on the back again and beat a tactful retreat to a table on the other side of the bar where Natalie was holding court with Will and Elliot.

"Sorry," Dana mumbled, and to her credit, she did actually look sorry. And a little queasy. She waved a hand in the general direction of the bathroom. "My issues. I'll deal with them. Or pretend they don't exist. Go after him."

Casey pushed back from the table. He pointed a finger at Kim, leaning serenely back in her chair. "We're not done. This is a question of honor."

When he reached the bathroom he tried the handle, but the door was locked. He knocked and called out, "Danny? You in there?" Pressing an ear against the door, he listened for sounds of movement and fervently hoped that Dan wasn't doing anything biological.

The door opened suddenly, and he took two stumbling steps into the bathroom before he regained his balance. "Of course I'm in here, you moron."

The men's room at Anthony's was a one-person affair, but there was enough room for two people to stand without tripping over the sink or each other. Casey shut and locked the door and hoped that no one would be lurking around outside when he and Dan walked out.

"Dana's sorry."

Dan shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned against the wall next to the paper towel dispenser. "Dana's always sorry. You shouldn't let her drink so much."

"Yeah, I'm sure she'd love it if I started acting like her mother."

"Someone probably should," Dan said with a shrug.

"She's still dealing with the whole switchover thing and how close we came to getting shut down. And Isaac's talking about retirement again."

"Isaac does that every three months. He's never going to retire."

"Yeah, I know that," Casey said. Although facts were facts, and Isaac wasn't a young man, and one day he would actually retire. And on that day, Casey hoped he'd be somewhere that wasn't anywhere near Dana. "But we were talking about how you threw a little tantrum out there."

"That wasn't a tantrum." Dan had a quirk to his mouth, like he was caught somewhere between embarrassed and amused.

"I have a kid. I know tantrums. Little, but nonetheless a tantrum."

"I guess I don't like being the butt of your stupid joke."

"Hey, it wasn't my joke. I disclaim all ownership of the joke. That joke sprung fully formed from Kim's evil mind. And I don't see why you're getting so upset. It's a bar bet, Danny."

"Oh, please," Dan said. "That was a lovely Athena metaphor, but don't pretend you don't know, and don't pretend that Dana doesn't know. And if Kim doesn't know, I'll lose all faith in the workings of the universe."

Casey tried to pace, but there wasn't enough room, so he ended up walking to the sink and standing there. His reflection looked confused. "There are levels to this conversation that I'm not privy to."

"To which you're not privy."

"Don't dodge the issue by correcting my grammar."

Dan leaned his head against the wall and rolled it from side to side. "Casey, Casey, Casey."

"Seriously, Dan. What the hell made you flip out?"

"You really don't know."

"I really don't."

"And you really are a moron."

First Kim had attacked his honor, and now Dan had attacked his intelligence. This was not one of his better nights. The perfect comeback was on his lips, but he never got to deliver it, because suddenly Dan was on his lips. Dan's lips, to be exact. On his. Which pretty much put them in a kissing situation.

He didn't really have time to register any details before Dan pulled back. Then he took stock. Dan looked sort of embarrassed, but also like he was determined not to regret what he'd done. And Casey felt...sort of tingly.

"This was your problem?" he asked.

"The fact that I didn't feel like having my private feelings exposed for a bar bet? Yeah, that was my problem." Dan still stood close enough for Casey to feel breath on his face when he spoke. Close enough for his attention to be drawn back to Dan's lips.

"Dan?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm really glad you threw a tantrum."

Dan nervously licked his lips, and Casey felt a brief brush of tongue as he kissed Dan. After a startled second, Dan kissed him back, and this was way better than the first kiss. Dan's hands settled on his shoulders and then stroked down to the bare skin of his forearms. Casey tilted his head a little more, and everything slotted into place. He opened his mouth when Dan opened his, and Dan's tongue pushed into him and set off a little explosion in his brain.

Danny kissed him like he'd been wanting this for a long time. It was possible, Casey thought, that he had been a bit of a moron.

He ran a hand over the back of Dan's head, and Dan eased back. "So," Casey said.

"Yeah," Dan said. And then Dan grabbed his arms, turned him around, and pushed him against the wall. He sucked on Casey's lip and rubbed his erection against his hip, and it felt so goddamn good that Casey lost his mind.

"Right," Casey gasped. "Talking's overrated anyway. You wanna get out of here?"

"You bet."

"You go first, and I'll pretend to chase after you?"

"Fine," Dan said, his voice low. "Anything."

They kissed again, soft and wet, until Casey pushed Dan away from him. "The sooner you go, the sooner we can go."

Dan sighed, adjusted his jeans, and unlocked the door. "I'll wait for you down the block."

After he left, Casey counted off seconds in his head until he didn't feel like waiting any longer. He opened the door and saw Kim waiting at the end of the little hallway, by the cigarette vending machine.

"Dan took off," she said. "Is he really pissed? It was just a joke."

It seemed possible that this was a historical event. Kim was actually worried about someone else's feelings. He should probably reassure her. Tell her that Dan would be fine, that they'd work it out. Surely it would be wrong to gloat during her moment of weakness. And there was the issue of discretion to consider.

He reached out to pat her shoulder. "You owe me a hundred bucks," he said, and took off for the street, where Danny was waiting.


End file.
